My Journey with Insomnia

photo taken in New York - my guide is here

Something I’ve mentioned many times over the years without much explanation is my experience with insomnia. I’ve wrote a couple instagram posts and mentioned it here and there but have never done a full deep dive to share my experience and what has worked for me. This happens to be my most requested topic to touch on. I was planning to record a podcast episode but wanted to be able to share tangible takeaways and links so that if you too are struggling, you might be able to find reprieve and the resources you need to help you sleep again.

First of all, I see you, I hear you, and I am you. Sleep is something I’ve struggled with acutely since having my first son but when I really think about it, is something I’ve been keenly aware of for most of my life. I remember being a young girl tossing and turning upstairs at my mom’s house, and then heading away for summer camp and having to play the same song on loop to help drown out the noise of my cabin mates. I would cry myself to sleep quite often due to the exhaustion, anxiety and what felt like unfairness of it all. I just wanted to sleep. The other thing is that I am not someone who thrives on 6-7 hours. I have always needed a solid 9. 8 hours is OK but doesn’t make me feel my best. When I naturally allow my body to do it’s thing, it craves 9 full hours. It’s not easy to get 9 hours of sleep in the best of circumstances, but especially so when you have a new baby, which brings me to the first time I realized that I actually had an issue. I spoke to this in my Motherhood podcast episode, but if you had seen me from the outside you would have guessed that I was thriving as a new mom. The house was spotless, I made dinner every night, and Liam was enrolled in music class and I had a solid group of new mommy friends. The truth was, I was internally struggling. Breastfeeding was incredibly hard for me (and I mean, brutal), my anxiety was at an all time high, and it was taking me 3-4 hours to sleep at night. My close friends and family members knew that I was struggling but I didn’t really have a name to give it all. It was around this time that my friend suggested entering therapy (my podcast episode with my therapist is here) and seeing a naturopathic doctor (my podcast episode with my naturopath is here). I shared with both experts that I was struggling and we started down the path of helping me find reprieve. This is that journey.

I want to start off by saying that I’m not a doctor and therefore everything I share here is my own personal experience. Please seek professional help if you are struggling (both my therapist and naturopath above are well versed in helping people with these issues). Once I realized I had a problem, I tried a few things that seemed like low hanging fruit.

  • I cut back on coffee to one cup in the morning (I was drinking 3-4) and one matcha or green tea in the afternoon. This allowed me to sustain my energy while still allowing my nervous system to calm down in the afternoon before winding down for bed.

  • I started taking a B12 supplement , GABA, and Magnesium (I rotate between L-Threonate and Bis-Glycinate)

  • I started meditating and moving my body everyday. I really believe that tiring your body out from physical movement can really help you fall asleep. I had a friend who struggled in high school and the doctor’s recommendation was that she run 10K a day. The meditation allowed me to ease anxiety related to falling asleep. I have both a daily 5-minute meditation and many workouts (20 mins) in my RESET. This is also a great place to go if you want to learn about how to fuel your body properly which also impacts sleep.

  • I eliminated screens before bed. I’m pretty good at this still but now that I feel more recovered I can watch a show before bed. And my Kindle doesn’t seem to interfere (I have it on brightness 1). Ideally I’m off my phone once the kids come home at 5, and I read my Kindle (fiction at night) until I fall asleep. Fave books liked here.

  • I scaled back on alcohol. One glass of wine rarely impacts my sleep, two sometimes does and three most definitely does so those occasions are quite rare. There are definitely more non-wine nights than wine nights in my house now. When I do decide to indulge, it is with the highest quality wine I can afford. I like to stick to European wines from Italy and France as they are the least interfered with in terms of additives, sulfites etc.

  • I started going to bed and waking up at the same time (5 days a week, I try to be a little looser on the weekend)

Once I started implementing the tactics above, especially the coffee, I was able to get into a better rhythm. That being said, about once a week little miss insomnia would rear it’s ugly head. On nights that I felt as though I needed a little extra natural support, I started taking Arrae Sleep (you can listen to my episode with cofounder Siffat Haider here). The valerian in the formulation is something that was also recommended to me by my ND.

I still have nights when absolutely nothing works. I’ve done all the things, stuck to my practices, and I start to feel my issues creeping up. In emergency scenarios (I’d say maybe once every 6-8 weeks), I will take a sleeping pill that my ND prescribed. When I travel I have an incredibly hard time sleeping. I remember coming back from Italy last year after not sleeping for 5 days and crying on the phone with my ND because nothing worked. We went through all of my options and he prescribed a sleeping pill that was non-addictive and was very mild on the sliding scale for me to have on hand for emergencies. Just having them in the house (in our safe because I’m psychotic about safety) makes me sleep better at night. I much prefer to fall asleep with the methods I outlined above but there are certain times when it just won’t cut it.

This year when we went to Italy, I tried to have a less stressful approach to sleep. I limited alcohol and took Arrae every night and felt quite a bit better than the year before. But I now know that there are seasons and in seasons with less sleep, I replay this mantra on repeat: it’s ok to be tired sometimes.

Other resources:

All in all, I think you can try every trick in the book but if you aren’t addressing the underlying reasoning for why this is happening, everything will simply be a temporary solution. That’s why I highly recommend working with a Therapist or Naturopath to try and find the root cause if it’s a possibility for you. I believe sleep is at the core of a healthy body and mind and know that it is worth the investment having been through it myself.

Sending all my love xx

wellnessSophie CollinsComment